Poetry

Page 1 of 2 1, 2  Next

Go down

Poetry

Post by Twilightvampire17 on Wed Apr 25, 2007 6:33 pm

Hello to the poetry thread...here you can post what you wish as long as it is a poem and feedback here we go here is a poem written by china


china wrote:hey, I was just wondering if any of you guys could critique a poem i wrote for English class?

Blood

Blood is a rose
blossoming from an open wound

Blood is a stain
of pain and war

Blood is the gift
of a mother to her child

Blood is ink
writing the story of lives

i know it's pretty bad,so if you could please give me some suggestions???


So do you guys like it?

_________________

Click to read my fanfic "When Forever begins."
Thank you jadoretoi for my wonderful banner!
avatar
Twilightvampire17
"The Quotes Queen"

Number of posts : 349
Age : 27
Localisation : Gone Cliff-Diving
Registration date : 2007-04-20

View user profile http://twilightteams.niceboard.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Andalusian on Wed Apr 25, 2007 7:18 pm

I really like it! Good job china! *claps* Very Happy

_________________
avatar
Andalusian
Committing Grand-theft auto with Alice.

Number of posts : 250
Age : 26
Localisation : Riding the emotional roller coaster of life
Registration date : 2007-04-20

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Twilightvampire17 on Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:17 pm

Heres one of mine.....It goes like this.....



~The Perfect Guy~

"He loved you,
I hope you know,
his feelings,
he let them show.
I hope you never,
catch another stare,
from him ever again,
For that would mean he still might care.
You broke his heart,
split it in two,
now he's sad,
all because of you.
And every time
he asks why?
what can I do?
the truth..or tell a lie?
You two were so,
perfect together,
but this is what happens when forever really means for-never.
Your in his dreams,
and in his thoughts
even if him,
you've already forgot.
You missed your chance,
you won't get another try,
and I hope you soon realize,
that he was the perfect guy."

_________________

Click to read my fanfic "When Forever begins."
Thank you jadoretoi for my wonderful banner!
avatar
Twilightvampire17
"The Quotes Queen"

Number of posts : 349
Age : 27
Localisation : Gone Cliff-Diving
Registration date : 2007-04-20

View user profile http://twilightteams.niceboard.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by china on Fri Apr 27, 2007 2:46 pm

holy snap.that is M-AZING!!!...would it be okay with you if my friend(randomocity_unknown) and i tryed to make that into a song?
avatar
china
Unpacking my umbrella

Number of posts : 39
Age : 24
Localisation : in front of this computer
Emploi : retired
Registration date : 2007-04-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Randomocity_Unknown on Fri Apr 27, 2007 2:54 pm

china wrote:holy snap.that is M-AZING!!!...would it be okay with you if my friend(randomocity_unknown) and i tryed to make that into a song?
Yea! That would make an excellent song! I wish I could write poems like that. I wrote one about depression....and well, I think that it sucks.
avatar
Randomocity_Unknown
Just arrived

Number of posts : 10
Registration date : 2007-04-25

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by china on Fri Apr 27, 2007 4:03 pm

uh...Randomocity_Unknown...she LIES!!!!it is one of the BESTEST poems iv ever read.(she is a LITTLE too modest.)exampleof a suky poem;



Roaming through the forest
Onward he stomps,his neck stretching high
Above the trees,searching for his mate. He
Rears his head in triumph,he's found her.

While he was wandering
He decided,Why, it
Is time to make a
Song.But he had no instruments
To play,so he pursed his lips, from which he
Emitted a joyous tune.

Computer cheese eater
Laptop or not,this mouse is
Incapable of speech or
Conscious thought,but you
Know that with it, all can be found or deleted.


(that is an onomotopia acrostic,and it is NOT COOL)...but i hav t admit i like the CLICK one.hehehe
avatar
china
Unpacking my umbrella

Number of posts : 39
Age : 24
Localisation : in front of this computer
Emploi : retired
Registration date : 2007-04-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Randomocity_Unknown on Sun Apr 29, 2007 7:47 am

Those are good china. I haven't even started mine.
avatar
Randomocity_Unknown
Just arrived

Number of posts : 10
Registration date : 2007-04-25

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Twilightvampire17 on Sun Apr 29, 2007 3:47 pm

Randomocity_Unknown wrote:
china wrote:holy snap.that is M-AZING!!!...would it be okay with you if my friend(randomocity_unknown) and i tryed to make that into a song?
Yea! That would make an excellent song! I wish I could write poems like that. I wrote one about depression....and well, I think that it sucks.

man sure lol

_________________

Click to read my fanfic "When Forever begins."
Thank you jadoretoi for my wonderful banner!
avatar
Twilightvampire17
"The Quotes Queen"

Number of posts : 349
Age : 27
Localisation : Gone Cliff-Diving
Registration date : 2007-04-20

View user profile http://twilightteams.niceboard.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Twilightvampire17 on Sun Apr 29, 2007 3:49 pm

China I love it!

here's my new one lol


~love is blind~


Love is blind,
to even those with perfect sight,
what our heart feels,
isn't always what are head believes right.

Cry your hardest,
When things don't work out,
When your feelings become to much,
just go ahead yell, scream, SHOUT!

No one well think differently of you.
They will understand,
and when you to decide to wake up,
on your feet you will land.

Don't fall into your own darkness,
Don't fall into a pit of sorrow,
because no matter how bad today is,
theres always tomorrow.

Love is blind,
to those even with perfect sight,
but your heart is not,
sometimes what your head thinks isn't always right.

_________________

Click to read my fanfic "When Forever begins."
Thank you jadoretoi for my wonderful banner!
avatar
Twilightvampire17
"The Quotes Queen"

Number of posts : 349
Age : 27
Localisation : Gone Cliff-Diving
Registration date : 2007-04-20

View user profile http://twilightteams.niceboard.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by china on Tue May 01, 2007 1:32 pm

omg omg omg omg!!!!!!that is seriously crazy!!! i am begging that you let Randomocity and i (attempt) to make that into a song!


(plz)
avatar
china
Unpacking my umbrella

Number of posts : 39
Age : 24
Localisation : in front of this computer
Emploi : retired
Registration date : 2007-04-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Twilightvampire17 on Tue May 01, 2007 4:53 pm

china wrote:omg omg omg omg!!!!!!that is seriously crazy!!! i am begging that you let Randomocity and i (attempt) to make that into a song!


(plz)

you can lol I just write about what I feel..lol

_________________

Click to read my fanfic "When Forever begins."
Thank you jadoretoi for my wonderful banner!
avatar
Twilightvampire17
"The Quotes Queen"

Number of posts : 349
Age : 27
Localisation : Gone Cliff-Diving
Registration date : 2007-04-20

View user profile http://twilightteams.niceboard.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by china on Sun May 06, 2007 5:18 pm

omg omg omg i made another one!!!

A Rose's Wish

I am a rose,
born from the earth.


My petals are soft like my mother's,
my thorns sharp like my father's.


My friend is the bee,
my enemy the beetle.


I feel the sun on my leaves,
and the water in my roots.


My only wish is for someone to pick me,
to be used as a symbol of their love.

blah.we are writing poems in english right now XP.(i hate mrs.loria!!!)
avatar
china
Unpacking my umbrella

Number of posts : 39
Age : 24
Localisation : in front of this computer
Emploi : retired
Registration date : 2007-04-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Twilightvampire17 on Sun May 06, 2007 5:21 pm

aww I loved it..i thought it to be...very expressive.

_________________

Click to read my fanfic "When Forever begins."
Thank you jadoretoi for my wonderful banner!
avatar
Twilightvampire17
"The Quotes Queen"

Number of posts : 349
Age : 27
Localisation : Gone Cliff-Diving
Registration date : 2007-04-20

View user profile http://twilightteams.niceboard.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Moonlessnight on Sun May 06, 2007 6:49 pm

OMG! I love all of your poems! Good job everyone Wink
avatar
Moonlessnight
Co-Clone Commander.

Number of posts : 52
Localisation : By the ocean, watching the sunset, next to Edward
Registration date : 2007-04-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Twilightvampire17 on Sun May 06, 2007 7:07 pm

Moonlessnight wrote:OMG! I love all of your poems! Good job everyone Wink

awww! Thank you!

_________________

Click to read my fanfic "When Forever begins."
Thank you jadoretoi for my wonderful banner!
avatar
Twilightvampire17
"The Quotes Queen"

Number of posts : 349
Age : 27
Localisation : Gone Cliff-Diving
Registration date : 2007-04-20

View user profile http://twilightteams.niceboard.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by china on Mon May 07, 2007 7:16 pm

yes thank you indeed...*looks at Randomocity*....WHY R U NOT POSTING UR POEMS THEY R AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol.o,i made this somwat amazing poem in english,but it is one of those 'concrete poem' things,and so i cant type it....i could scan it,but i am too lazy,and i havnt gotten it bak.lol.


(teehee,i started a new page)
avatar
china
Unpacking my umbrella

Number of posts : 39
Age : 24
Localisation : in front of this computer
Emploi : retired
Registration date : 2007-04-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Twilightvampire17 on Tue May 08, 2007 7:42 pm

hey guys I'm finally adding a new one.

~I'll follow you~

I'd follow you off a cliff,
I'd follow you into the sea,
I'd follow you anywhere,
if only you loved me.


and if you have to leave,
and I cannot come along,
I will stay here and wait,
while singing this mournful song.

and if I decide I cannot wait,
I'll follow you to the place where angles go,
heaven will be our new home,
you'll have beautiful wings,and a new golden halo.


Because, I'd follow you off a cliff,
I'd follow you into the sea,
I'd follow you anywhere,
because you love me.




Do you guys like it?

_________________

Click to read my fanfic "When Forever begins."
Thank you jadoretoi for my wonderful banner!
avatar
Twilightvampire17
"The Quotes Queen"

Number of posts : 349
Age : 27
Localisation : Gone Cliff-Diving
Registration date : 2007-04-20

View user profile http://twilightteams.niceboard.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Randomocity_Unknown on Wed May 09, 2007 5:43 pm

I am not posting my poems cause they are not good at all! Your concrete poem was REALLY cool. I thought it was awesome.
avatar
Randomocity_Unknown
Just arrived

Number of posts : 10
Registration date : 2007-04-25

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by yourleftshoe on Wed May 09, 2007 6:16 pm

TV17 i absolutly love that poem TV17!!!!

_________________


Official President of Team Mike 'Because we can't all be Mythical Creatures now can we?'
proud member of all the Teams and Rosalie House
avatar
yourleftshoe
Cold as marble, hard as granite.

Number of posts : 118
Age : 26
Localisation : living in the moment
Registration date : 2007-04-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Twilightvampire17 on Wed May 09, 2007 7:45 pm

yourleftshoe wrote:TV17 i absolutly love that poem TV17!!!!


oh thank you!

_________________

Click to read my fanfic "When Forever begins."
Thank you jadoretoi for my wonderful banner!
avatar
Twilightvampire17
"The Quotes Queen"

Number of posts : 349
Age : 27
Localisation : Gone Cliff-Diving
Registration date : 2007-04-20

View user profile http://twilightteams.niceboard.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by yourleftshoe on Thu May 10, 2007 4:48 pm

my friend Michael wrote this.... about me...

Together

Looking into her eye's
I see she needs me
As much as i need her
But what is keeping us apart
Apart from having everything we need
That sunset on that hill
That sunrise on that beach
That feeling thet we'll always be together
Together
What we fear is just that
What would happen
If it wasn't the way we imagined
Then we'd have nothing
But if you once had everything
Then there is no such thing as nothing
So i think we should take that giant leap
And see where we go
Who knows
We may land in each others hearts <3

Dedicated to someone special

it suprized me, i didnt know that he felt so strongly

_________________


Official President of Team Mike 'Because we can't all be Mythical Creatures now can we?'
proud member of all the Teams and Rosalie House
avatar
yourleftshoe
Cold as marble, hard as granite.

Number of posts : 118
Age : 26
Localisation : living in the moment
Registration date : 2007-04-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Twilightvampire17 on Thu May 10, 2007 4:52 pm

That poem is beautiful! Your friend is a very good poet.

_________________

Click to read my fanfic "When Forever begins."
Thank you jadoretoi for my wonderful banner!
avatar
Twilightvampire17
"The Quotes Queen"

Number of posts : 349
Age : 27
Localisation : Gone Cliff-Diving
Registration date : 2007-04-20

View user profile http://twilightteams.niceboard.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Bella Rocks on Thu May 10, 2007 8:24 pm

both those poems were very good,lefty your friend as somereal talent

Bella Rocks
Following my heart

Number of posts : 159
Age : 25
Registration date : 2007-05-07

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by yourleftshoe on Thu May 10, 2007 9:35 pm

i think he might ask me out tomorrow... im going over to his house to watch a movie... im scared though... i have this thing about going out with friends, because i dont want to lose the friendship. i do want to be with him though... i dont know...

_________________


Official President of Team Mike 'Because we can't all be Mythical Creatures now can we?'
proud member of all the Teams and Rosalie House
avatar
yourleftshoe
Cold as marble, hard as granite.

Number of posts : 118
Age : 26
Localisation : living in the moment
Registration date : 2007-04-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Twilightvampire17 on Mon May 14, 2007 5:05 pm

My friend was killed Sat. In a car accident.
So I'm a little stressed and dazed, She was a senior, and Grad, was a week away Sat. and so was her 18th birthday.

heres a poem I wrote for her.

~One Less, One More~
One less, face you have to remember
One less smile you have to see,
one less person to make a difference
One less Jenny.

One more person that had to die,
One more person to look down,
One more person to cry,
One more person to live without.

One less person to laugh,
One more person to bury,
One less person to love,
One more legacy to carry.

_________________

Click to read my fanfic "When Forever begins."
Thank you jadoretoi for my wonderful banner!
avatar
Twilightvampire17
"The Quotes Queen"

Number of posts : 349
Age : 27
Localisation : Gone Cliff-Diving
Registration date : 2007-04-20

View user profile http://twilightteams.niceboard.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Poetry

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 1 of 2 1, 2  Next

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum